Until Autumn Leaves

by scruffian

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about

Recorded between 2006 and 2011 in snatched moments with cheap equipment.

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released December 19, 2011

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scruffian England, UK

Music is meant to be fun, that's why we 'play' it.

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Track Name: April May Love
April may love you when the morning comes
June lifts you up and sets you free
She came shining from the clouds above
She came to rescue me

The grass has grown and the leaves are green
Their shadows move and dance
They make me see what I want to be
So I resolve to take a chance

How long until it's over
How much longer til the fall
I can't imagine being older
We will always be...
But you were all I ever wanted

The things you've seen are in your eyes
Reflections of the clouds above
Flowers spring into your mind
I hope I don't forget this love

Missed chances bearing down on me
So scared of what I might find
Years and years and years of leave
Blown through the corners of my mind

How long until it's over
How much longer 'til the fall
I can't imagine being older
We will always be...
But you were all I ever wanted

And when our atoms separate
And drift apart through space
Bits of me will find
Bits of you and they'll bind

But you were all I ever wanted
Track Name: Like A Little Weed
I lay dormant
Under the mountain
Into another world, you fell
In the shadow of the tower blocks
Just like a little weed
Like a drifting seed
That's cast to the four winds

Carried on the thermals
Into the vapour trails
Until you were
Set down beside me
Just like a little weed
I have gone to seed
I'll never go back

Covered up with filthy dirt and buried in the ground
As the tractor draws the furrows out long and straight and brown
And this wrinkled brow reminds me of your frown
And everything I grow on cracks and tumbles down
Just like a little weed
That doesn't make a sound
I'll be climbing up your walls until
They break and fall down

We sprouted in the oak's shadow
Where Autumn falls slow and bright
And though my roots are only shallow
I reach out towards the light
Just a like a little weed
I will never reach
Just a like a little weed
I will never reach
And never grow back

The only thing I asked you when you left me was who will dry your eyes
But hope and light and fear replied like bats swooping in the dark
And all the while you clung to me like my drenched shirt I hung on every word
But now you've outgrown me and I am left alone
And everything I touch turns to stone
Just like a little weed
Left out in the cold
What will become of me
When I get old...
Track Name: Until The Ocean Ends
I sat staring out the library window for ten minutes or more
Just watching the rain and the way the droplets form
I trace the tracks that they take through the condensation on the window pane
Like the paths that we make though a conversation in the pouring rain

And though I tried so hard to tell you every day
Somehow, no matter how hard, I couldn't find the right words to say
Now the water's flooding out and its running down my cheeks
Everywhere I go I thought I'd catch a glimpse

At the bus shelter I sat next to you
I didn't know what to do
So we just sat there in silence

Why do buses always come in threes?
You caught the one in front of me
And all the way home I watched its red tail lights
Dancing in the spray
Squinting through to catch a glimpse of you

Every raindrop that falls
Runs into the ocean
Washed out of the gutter and into the draught
And into the ocean and
The ocean will rise the ocean will fall
All over everything
And though I might rise and though I might fall
Until the ocean ends

And though my stop had come to soon
And the bus had stopped again
I got off and started walking up my broken garden path
Put my key in the rusty lock
Looking back over my shoulder
Push the door and then go in
As you drive away

So pick me up and bury me home, gently
You're lifting me up and bearing me home, gently
Set me down there and bury me here, gently
You let me down then so let me go now, gently
Track Name: Escape To The Treeshed
Deep in the dark woods of my heart something stirs
Things can never be back like they were
When the winter comes and it gets cold
I don't know here where i'll go when I get old

Mark my way with sticks and stones
To the tree tops where I make my home
At first all the trees look the same
Now I know them all by name

Deep in the forest of your heart something calls
Into the darkness I stumble and fall
Stay up here for the rest of my life
Far away from my trouble and strife

Every evening stuck in the same room
Dust catches the silver light of the moon
Pile the stones up high
In concentric circles 'til they reach the sky

And when I'm gone
If you look for me
You will find me here
In my place

In the blossom
Of my own tree
And your face
I live on

In the funny gait
Of my own shed
Like a happy face
I live on

In the attic
In my own shoes
Dusted with skin
I live skin

In the warm embrace
Of the long sun
As the day ends
I live on
Track Name: Little Boy Blues
You were looking for someone to hold your hand
I was walking down the avenue, away from you
I don't want to be your special one just yet
I'm not old enough, I'm only about seven years old in my head
And I needed you more than I wanted you before

'Cause I can't sing the little boy blues
Without you, without you
Well I've tried but what can I do
Without you, without you

I don't want this kind of trouble yet
I just want to play on the slides and swings
And ride my bike and kick a ball and things
I want to hide away in my treehouse and sing

'Cause I can't sing the little boy blues
Without you, without you
Well I've tried but what can I do
Without you, without you

I didn't understand why you looked at me that way
Why can't you believe that just 'cause you right down our names and add them up
Whatever percentage it scores it doesn't mean we're in love
It doesn't mean that yet, and I'm only about seven years old in my head
And I needed you more than I wanted you before

'Cause I can't sing the little boy blues
Without you, without you
Well I've tried but what can I do
Without you, without you
And I can't pretend I'm not one piece without you
Without you, without you
So please wait just a couple more years
'Til I'm through, I'm through
Just please wait just another few more years
And I'll take you to review

But for now can't we just play in the trees
And now can't we just be friends
And now let's just take our pretty little time
'Cause I still need you

'Cause I can't sing the little boy blues
Without you, without you
Well I've tried but what can I do
Without you, without you
Track Name: A Rainy Day
Your hands are not very warm
But you're heart's cold
And my heart is hard
And these words are bold

The sound of a thousand raindrops
Landing in your ears
Drowns out any of your words
Which might have made it through to me

When I looked into your eyes
I saw another universe
Which came as some surprise
And I wanted to fall in

The rain trapped us indoors again
Watch another Saturday blow over
We don't like to shut up much
But we don't care so much if we're alone

We only wear clothes that match
So we wear the same thing every day
Now all my clothes they smell of you
And the edges have begun to fray

I know I don't have to dress up for you
I know that you'll love me whatever I wear
But looking like you helps us stick like glue
And helps me to know I belong somewhere

I found that letter again
And it took me back to that awful night when
Your parents wouldn't let you leave
So away we ran

Later when the drizzle cleared
Standing by that frozen lake
The falling sun was drenching us
Its long cold light keeps us awake

Rain runs down my neck
As I run to you at top speed
And puddles splash up my legs
But you were all I need

I made a list of all I need
But you were all I put on it
So pack your bags to go away
You'll go away anywhere
Away from here
Track Name: Like The Fool That I Am
It's too late now to take it back
But I didn't have to bite off your head
And since then all I can think about
Is what you might have said

In the long iight of the evening
Our shadows stretch out across the open fields
And through the smoke I caught a glimpse
Of your dappled haze

It stings our eyes
And makes them cry

Now the ash is gently falling from the sky and settling
Over everything like a carpet of snow
So please forget about my lies in the light of your eyes
I still imagine in your arms
Like the fool that I am

The parakeets dive my head
And the ducks and swans glide away
And I will never know now
What you were going to say

It shouldn't be this cold in May
And these rushes remind me of the hay
In which we used to play
And your eyelashes

And this wind drives me mad
And flicks through the pages I've never read
And messes up our hair

I still wonder what the morning will bring and whether the sun spins
And why it is the moon's always showing the same face
It's funny how it's orbit's in proportion to it's spin
I still think about your questions
Like the fool that I am

Clouds drifting in the blue
Translucent leaves with the evening sun infused
And this long grass sticks like glue
And we pick our way through

The worst thing is how it silenced you
And cut short our conversation
And now all I want to know
Is what was in your head

And now I'll never know
And now I'll never know

I want to know what moves you across these summer lawns
So please don't try so hard when you know you don't have to
I still think about my lies in the pools of your eyes
I still forget too easily
Like the fool that I am
Track Name: The Last Day Of September
The grey plane trees hang on their leaves
For longer than the beech and hornbeam
And set ablaze the grey skyline
It reminds us of the great fire of London

Out in the woods a hundred miles away
A squirrel gathers nuts and leaves
So pack up all your things in crates
This good ship sets sail today

Waves roll by like months in Autumn
The shadows fall like leaves
Cling on tightly to the bow
In the morning we must leave
I will sleep 'til we get there

Looking back over last years
There's piles of rubbish where we used to play
And on the last day of September
This good ship sets sail today

So furl and hoist for fifty furlongs
Where we're going we cannot say
The Autumn wind billows our sails
And drifting we meander away

Waves roll by like months in Autumn
The shadows fall like leaves
Cling on tightly to the bow
In the morning we must leave
I will stop until we get there
Track Name: The Light Will Go Away
I've been strong
I've been looking for
The place where I belong

I've been wrong
I've out the door
And laughing too long

It's a cold world, a cold world

The light will go away
But I'm not listening
The nights are getting long
But I'm not listening

Summer's gone
My hands are raw
The night is growing long

Clouds roll on
Lying on the floor
They're moving me along

It's a cold world, a cold world

The light will go away
But I'm not watching
The nights are growing cold
But I'm not listening
Track Name: Beside The Railway Lines
They keep moving us along
From place to place
Until we vanish without trace

So I keep moving on
From town to town
Until the ocean waves
Swallow me and I drown

So we run away
To the railway
Derelict and lonely

Scramble for a seat
And something to eat
Brambles grab my feet
They try to keep us off the streets

Hiding in our railway dens
Barbed wire hedges us into pens
Herding us from street to street
So we shake the dust from off our feet

Clamber over garden fences
Crawling through fox holes in hedges
We have stayed here for too long
So we'll go back where we belong
Beside the railway lines

But I've got no strings in this town
It makes me laugh when I am down
I've got no strings at all
You'll never hold me down

So I travel round
From town to town
Play my little heart out

Drowned out by planes
And screaming trains
Scavenge for remains
That fall half eaten from your table

This food chain
Feeds my shame
Doubled up with self doubt

In the pouring rain
Washed down the drain
Everyone's the same
Filled with same pain

Hiding in our railway dens
Barbed wire hedges us into pens
Herding us from street to street
So we shake the dust from off our feet

Clamber over garden fences
Crawling through fox holes in hedges
We have stayed here for too long
So we'll go back where we belong
Beside the railway lines

But I've got no strings in this town
It makes me laugh when I am down
I've got no strings at all
You'll never hold me down

In warehouses and railway sheds
We live beside the railway lines
Build a camp with wood that someone
Dumped between the railway lines
Huddle round a car fire
Toasting scraps and bacon rinds
Wrapped in singed and smokey carpet
Abandoned by the railway lines
Fish and chips and blackberries
We found behind the railway lines
On other people's mattresses
We lay beneath the railway lines
Forgotten houses, broken blinds
Piles of rubbish and for sale signs
Are all that's left of what was standing
Here before the railway lines

I'll spend my days
Beside the railway lines
Ill wend and I'll stray
Beside the railway lines
I'll rend and I'll fray
Beside the railway lines
I'll mend my ways
Beside the railway lines
I'll bend and go gray
Beside the railway lines
I'll end my stay
Beside the railway lines
Track Name: Until Autumn Leaves
Summer has gone again
The leaves are falling from the trees
Hedges burst with bright rose hips
I can taste them on my lips
Until Autumn leaves

These leaves were not growing for long
Budded blossomed bloomed and now they're gone
And now they stay on the ground
Where the earthy worms will grind them down
Until autumn leaves

Winter's cold grip clamps again
Mud slides under my feet
Frost bites hard and the snow falls down
As the autumn leaves

Spring has sprung again
The sap is pumping through the trees
Stems rise up and break new ground
Birds fly free, wheels spin round
We will ride until Autumn leaves

Autumn's crown will fall again
The seasons cycle in their chain
Sunset notches up a gear
They tread the tracks of the former years
We will ride until autumn leaves